Today’s biggest celebrity news story is Kylie and Kendall Jenner’s forthcoming novel. Needless to say it’s a slow ass celeb news day, and on slow ass news days tabloids are forced to write about who’s having sex with Miley Cyrus. So who IS having sex with the pot-smoking pop star?
Jordan Catalano Jared Leto. COMMENCE SIDE-EYES, SHADE, GASPS, AGE DIFFERENCE CALCULATIONS, ETC, ETC.
We would explain the reasons why this is all probably fake, why this is the worst news we’ve ever read, and why if this is real we’re logging out of life. But why write out reactions to the news when the internet has .GIFs of Claire Danes (as Angela Chase) judging Jordan Catalano’s every life decision?
The details: Apparently, a sleep over went down two weeks after Clive Davis’s pre-Grammy party.
Right? You’re thinking “Little girl, you haven’t worked up to reaching Jared Leto fuckability levels!” THERE ARE LEVELS TO THIS SO CALLED LIFE.
And then it dawns on you that there’s only an 80% chance that this is actually true, because HOLLYWEIRD.
Then you wonder why you care so much about Jared Leto, as if you own him or have met him or something…
BUT, MILEY?! WHY MILEY OF ALL GIRLS. Wrong choice, Jared.