Princess Queen Blue, and Jay Z are currently yachting across Italy for a weeklong celebration of Beyonce’s B-Day. Against Blue Ivy’s orders, the paparazzi have posted candid shots of the Carter Clan, including the now infamous photo of Jayonce diving in the ocean, and snapshots of what appears to be Blue Ivy calling all the shots onboard.
Let’s first discuss Beyonce’s Beetle Juice-inspired bikini/cover situation. Clearly, this is Blue’s attempt at sabotaging her mother’s birthday look…and it’s worked. She’s looking less Beyonce and more Michelle Williams.
While Blue Ivy was getting a massage over bottled milk, Jayonce were photographed diving into the sea.
Mortified at her parents behavior, Blue Ivy took Beyonce aside for a stern conversation “I need you to be more Sasha Fierce, less Third Ward Trill,” says Blue Ivy.
While Blue Ivy is playing select* tracks off Holy Grail, Jay Z puffs on a cigar he’s stolen from BIC’s stash.
*Only tracks that make mention of Blue Ivy
Jay Z tries to conceal Blue’s cigar because the baby has the tendency to get mad as hell. But too late, Jigga! Blue Ivy is all like “REALLY, DAD?! GOING THROUGH MY STASH…AGAIN?!” Beyonce tries to diffuse the imminent brawl.
Fuming, Blue Ivy threatens to snatch Beyonce’s wig off if she doesn’t carry her back to the sunbathing section.
Blue Ivy’s nanny, who the child refers to as ‘Nanny 1′, announces Kanye, Kim and North West will be joining them. “Here? On this yacht? ON MY YACHT?!!!!!
“This kiki sesh is getting shut down” says Blue Ivy. “Take me to the other other yacht RIGHT.NOW.”
Blue Ivy first demands an outfit change, and then summons her bodyguard, Julius, to remove her from her father’s clutches. BIC still feels bothered by the cigar thing.
And so she ends the day sitting on her pillow, escaping North West’s impending arrival. After all, this is Blue Ivy’s world and everyone else just lives in it. #BlueRunsTheWorld