by Cassandra

Here’s A Press Release That Aspiring Rappers Should NEVER Send

rappers

 (Photo Via: Shuttershock)

The hustle’s been real for aspiring rap artists since P. Diddy cancelled MTV’s Making Da Band. Traditional methods of grabbing attention within the well-oiled music industry no longer work – remember street teams?! – and so many up and coming artists have begun to try more shock-and-awe methods to grab the attention of those who can give them their big break. At Swagger, I receive multiple pitches a day about new artists who’ve got the talent to go head-to-head against the Drakes and Kanyes of the world. Most of these pitches don’t get the time of day, but one recent email caught my attention…mostly because it was a ratchet-hot mess. The rapper, Piff Marti was on a quest to be the next Jay-Z. Here’s how the email went:

“Waddup NIGGAAAHH..  lol. But anyway, now that I have your attention.”

Oh, you thought rappers use the generic “Hope all is well” intro in emails? SIKE, it’s 2013, the year of “trill”! After catching my attention, he jumped into his talents:

I just released a GREAT video that I co-directed and an even better mixtape that I just released.

The rapper dropped a teaser, and included three very compelling reasons why his Raw Talents reign supreme. Thankfully, he listed them in numerical order so that no one loses count.

The tape is called “Raw” and I used that title because:

1. I do and say what I feel like doing with no filter.

 

This can also serve as a Instagram caption, a clear sign of quick wordplay skills. #NOFILTER #InstagramInTrillLife

2. I believe I am a prime example of Raw Talent and would be considered an elite in the game.

Yes, he said ELITE. Must be why Kanye and Jay-Z needed to watch over their throne. The “elite” rappers are walking among us all.

3. The name sounded cool LOL

Touché.

Next, the up-and-comer noted that we shouldn’t base our judgement on his rapping skills from one song. We needed to listen to the hour-long raw-trill album for a fair review.

“Do NOT judge me from one song, for each one of my songs are different from one another.”

As opposed to other rap albums, where the songs feature the same lyrics, backing track and production track after track. Don’t forget this kid is #ELITE!

And before he signed off, the rapper asked for feedback…

“Let me know what you think even if it’s a bad opinion (even though it wouldn’t be lol).

 

Actually it was. Here’s the link for the video, but I should warn you it’s VERY RAW.

One thought on “Here’s A Press Release That Aspiring Rappers Should NEVER Send

  1. I’ll never hear how RAW he is because i din’t make it past that little Young & Restless playacting moment in the beginning.

    Otherwise, I spent 10 minutes a day shuffling through terrible press releases and this is definitely better than anything I got today.

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