by Intern

The Worst Dressed On The 2013 Oscars Red Carpet

On the biggest awards night of the year, Hollywood’s elite showed up looking, well, meh. Members of the Swagger team chime in on the worst looks of the night. Anne Hathaway, WTF?!

Giuliana Rancic

SP: Giuliana looked much better on the pre-show in a stunning white gown. The hair, the makeup, the dress, it’s just meh. Looking for a little color from Rancic, and not the tan-type of color.

Cassandra: Really Giuliana Rancic? Ruffles??? There’s going to be an awkward moment during E!’s Fashion Police…

Kimani: First of all, HATE the hair. The dress is even worse- she looks like a pretzel.

Kelly Osbourne

SP: Love Kelly but she needs a new hair color. The purple’s starting to look dirty, and the dress looks a little cheap from the top on down. But she LOVES it, so hey, yay for her.

Cassandra: I am a Kelly Osbourne stan, however that hair is very Williamsburg-off-the-L-Train. This is by far the worst I’ve seen Kelly on the red carpet, this witch realness is a fail.

Kimani: Kelly, boo, your hair is so Summer 2012. As for the dress, you tried.

Jennifer Hudson 

Cassandra: Why can’t J.Hud ever get it right?! If it’s not a bad wig, it’s a tacky dress. As for tonight, we’re just not feeling the blue sequin polka-dot gown, it reads Macy’s 50% prom sale. Our advice for Jennifer Hudson: When in doubt, ask Bey.

Chris Tucker

SP: CHRIS! You are a funny man, but you CANNOT wear the same look to the SAG Awards AND The Oscars. What were you thinking? And we stand by our issue with your over-sized bow tie.

Cassandra: No words for Chris Tucker.

Kimani: I’m not even going to shade Chris Tucker today because he’s obviously high and enjoying life. #BitchDontKillMyVibe

Brandi Glanville

SP: You weren’t invited. That’s all.

Cassandra: 1. Why is the least important Real Housewife of Beverly Hills at the Oscars? 2. Why is Brandi wearing her daughter’s first grade picture day dress?

Kimani: Brandi is NOT down for these Oscars shenanigans. She’s just trying to catch Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes in the parking lot- I’m here for it.

Nicole Kidman 

SP: I just don’t care about her so I have no words. Is that mean?

Cassandra: K, Nicole. We get it, you totally are down with all things glitter– but this L’Wren Scott gown on LSD is TOO MUCH.

Kimani: This dress makes me feel like I’m on molly.

Kristen Stewart

SP: Just a mess, though I realllllly wish she posed with her crutches.

Cassandra: You had me until the tulle at the bottom, Kristen. Apparently, this one arrived on the red carpet in crutches? Girl, you should’ve stayed home.

Kimani: Kristen, you look like the annoying, cracked out bridesmaid in every wedding party. Return. To. Sender.

Anne Hathaway

SP: First let me say that I still think she’s wearing a nightgown. I guess I should be mad at Prada, but I just dislike Anne Hathaway so much that I’ll throw shade at her, and her alone.

Cassandra: Anne Hathaway thought the Grammy rules and regulations also went for the Oscars. We understand the zzzZtastic look.

Kimani: First of all, you shaded the HELL out of Valentino by wearing Prada. And you look horrible. Are those seashells around your neck?! Done.

This entry was posted by Intern.
 
 

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